This is Mum's 50th present, LOOPY

newest addition to our family. a baby cuddle bunny
look for the rabbit:
found it?

oneAechoecho373

On wednesday night tom was driving me home. we always take the freeway but just this once we decided to go by the coast. when we got near sunset coast tourist drive and whitfords ave there was a lil white car with the front smashed in all the way. tom stopped about 20 metres before and ran to a guy standing next to the car. the man quickly described to him that it was a hit and run and the vehicle that hit the car was a white toyota van with construction stuff on top. tom remembered passing a van of that description on the way and asked if we should go after him and the guy told him to. jsut as i got out of the car tom yelled at me to get back in, we did a u turn and sped off in the direction we came from. we were doing about 120 along the coast (we didnt tell the cops this of cos) and after about 2 km we caught up with the van, wrote down the rego number and what street it drove down at what time. we didnt get too clsoe in case he decided to crash into us. by the time we got back to the accident the ambulance wasnt there but more ppl had arrived including some nurses. eventually a lot of ambulances and cops and the fire bridgage came and collected our details and statements. it was soooo cold and windy. it took the fire ppl nearly and hour to get the the three ppl out of the smashed car. the driver was really messed up the other two were slightly better. on the brighter side a good friend who i hadnt seen in a long time lived near by and heard the sirens and came to check it out. after the accident we went to his place to use the loo and have a drink.
the whole ordeal didnt sink in until thursday. i was driving to uniand was in the right lane and couldnt go to the left because there were many cars in there and the car in front of me was going just under 100 and the big four wheel drive behind me was right up against my backside because i was going slow. i felt so trapped and afraid and it sunk in and i got soo scared i started crying and cried the whole way to uni. when i got to uni i found out the driver died in hospital and i cried even more. i guess im still a lil shaken up. i dont like driving anymore.
apparently the cops have been calling everyone who's details they got down. they called tom three times but havent called me once. im glad though i really dont want to be involved anymore.
i guess i've been going through a down period for the last few months. i was reading the purpose driven life on the train today to uni. it said something along the lines of God wanting us to love him and depend on him and that he'll do anything to bring us closer to him. even if its bad stuff. ps gerard said soemthing simliar tonight, about God bringing challenges in our lives. but he'll never give us anything too hard to overcome. it is by his grace we can.
grr im not being too eloquent tonight. i really need sleep.

God's timing of blessings

God is full of blessings, all in his good timing. Some things he withholds from us for a reason, knowing when we are ready to receive his blessing. it's like the man who asked God for a flower and a butterfly, but was given a cactus and a caterpillar instead. Knowing that God has his reasons he didn't question God, and eventually the cactus sprouted a beautiful flower and the caterpillar turned into a butterfly. Today I had a job interview at the Hyatt, Satruday i have one at Target. just what i've been praying for. :)

Heart Broken

It hurts.
An empty feeling,
It penetrates deep inside.
My heart has been stabbed
Right through with an invisible knife.
Now I know the feeling ‘heart broken’
Pain I can feel throughout my whole body,
Spirit and soul, aches and consumes me
A momentary desire I cannot have
Why yearn for something that
Is not enteral? What
Is the point?
I cry.

My Fish tank

Aidan asked how my fish were. Yes I got a tank in my room now. Before sam came to live with us we had a cat. thanks to this animal lover, we now have, the oringal cat, 3 fish tanks including ltos of fish, seahorses, corals, and other sea dwelling creatures two quails, a rabbit, and a pigeon that visits us everyday to steal food from the quails and rabbit.
My fish tank
tank and pebbles donated by tom
heater and filter and light and plant and fishes donated by sam (spent over $50 on me)
background pic printed by me, food bought by me

Ten fishes:
Four guppys, a male and three females, all named Aiden (Aiden not Aidan)
Six neon tetras, all named Miriam.
Hee Hee

Away I go

I'm leaving tomorrow morning and will be back on thursday. This is a much needed break, just to get away from everything and forget things for a while, then when I come back i shall start things afresh. One thing I've been thinking about a lot recently is people. I agree with what Anna said, that all people we meet are God-connections. On Friday night we had a guest pastor from America, and I was filming the service. One thing i love about being on camera is that you're at the back, and high up, so you can see everyone and everything. I love looking down at all the people in the service, and I think to myself, all these people, they could have been somewhere else tonight, but they have come to the right place. All these people have different backgrounds and issues, all these people are loved. I love seeing people worship, especially when the whole congregation really gets into it, and you can see them jumping up and down and dancing for God. God is awesome. God created people. People are awesome. as am I :P:P:P

Update.

Finally an update. so much has happened since i last posted. wheatbelt fieldtrip, parents 25th anniversary, family reunion, friends becoming engaged, and married, family's birthdays, friends passing away, world cup, church opening, just for her womens conference, clean room, uni stuff, family stuff, ups and downs, lefts and rights... A friend of mine passed away few nights ago. I've known her since i was about 8, and yet i haven't seen her for two years. for two years i never made time for her, i never bothered to call to say hi. i guess we take for granted the people around us are gonna live for as long as we are, and we can catch up with them anything its convenient for us. i was there for her when her mother died, and when her cat died, but not her. two days before she passed away she was asking after me. and i only just remembered that her current cat, Li Li, is named after me. Helen Hillary lived a life different from most of us. She had polio when she was a young child, and spent the rest of her life in a wheel chair. She could not run bare foot in the grass when we could. she could not climb a tree when we could. she could not swim at the beach when we could. she could not sit with her legs outstretched in front of her and watch as she wriggled her toes. these things a lot of people take for granted. esp i. she reminds us of how truly blessed we are, things that we regard as normal everyday things, she could not have. but yet she was a strong person. she managed to drive. to shop. to go out to the movies, to make friends. to live by herself with a cat (after her mother passed away). to garden, to wash and clean, to get her wheelchair painted red then have me cover them with cat stickers. i know that everyones time must come, that death is inevitable and we have no control over it. although i am upset that she is not here anymore, im more upset that i made no effort to be with her, and now its too late. the most painful thing is that i don't know whether she has a relationship with God or not. hopefully from now on i will not take people around me for granted. i want to cherish and appreciate every person i meet, and have some kind of influence in their lives. even if this means getting a smile out of them, it'll be worthwhile. it feels so much better getting all this out.

Doubt your doubts
and believe your beliefs